Tips To Help Boost Self Esteem
I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across this meme. And let me tell you something it was like the proverbial light bulb went on. To put it simply, it made me have "the feelings" because I can relate so much. There was a time where I was the person who was always trying to make sure everyone else is “good” so I put more of an emphasis on their feelings, so much so I would not consider myself, thereby falsely thinking that I'm good if they're good. Knowing that I was making an excuses because I thought my needs and wants didn't matter as much but that didn't live right in my spirit. Building self-esteem and maintaining it is a daily work out, especially for those of us who’ve had to adjust our mindsets in adulthood because sometimes life can make you jaded, especially when it comes to change. But there is something to becoming that person you were meant to be, it is a spark to new chapter that only you can write so grab a paper and pen or a MacBook whichever one is fine and let’s get started.
Forgive yourself
I can hear you now, and you’re saying forgive myself for what? I hear you but I’m going to ask you to lower your tone because I’m just going to Kanyé shrug and say "I have no idea". Just know there may be something in you preventing yourself from feeling like you deserve better out of this life. Just think about it and consider what that could be or call your therapist to help you break it down even more- were all about the therapeutic break down here. Just don't take too long examining what it is because we’re aiming for progression not stagnation, the point is to just apologize to yourself for preventing you from receiving better- because you do.
Be the main character of your own life
This specifically refers to the meme above which can seem easier said than done. Not really though, once you accept you are just as important as all the other people you deemed more important in order to feel worthy of acceptance. Stop putting others on that imaginary pedestal because we are all playing the same game of life, it's just some are a little better at it. And not because they lied, or grifted their way to self acceptance but because they didn't feel the need to apologize for being themselves. Don’t compromise your boundaries to make other people feel comfortable it won’t get you far at all, but guess what? YOUR PEOPLE would never expect you to- NOW FEEL THAT!
Figure out who do you want to be
OK here I am talking about increasing your self-worth and then I'm telling you to be someone else. Just remember, I GOT YOU! So follow along this will be fun. There is a way we all imagine ourselves to be like, you know our “confident no holds barred dream self“ and sometimes your dream self has theme song. When we get to know each other a little better I will tell you mine 😉. The person who walks into the room and everyone wonders who's that girl? I have a small suggestion, just be her! Be THAT girl whoever she is, it’s ok. But you have to put a little more work into it than the fantasization of a dream persona. The foundation of who she is are the traits you carry with you but are too scared to let out because you think you will be judged. Focus on the positive characteristics, remember we are birthing high vibrational traits only, toxic vibes need not apply. For example, I see my essence as 50% Dominique Devereaux- because her level of glamorousness and badassness (it’s a word, I just made it up) is classic and timeless (iykyk-if you don't ask Google, like I said she knows EVERYTHING). 25% Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex & the City” and “Just Like That” eras, because I totally understand the before and after effect of her life- I keep my click tight & been there done that. And finally, 25% Denise Huxtable- Yes! Denise, aside from our name, I can relate to just being "outside the box" different that some people can’t appreciate or understand- but I embrace that and you should too. I am all of these personas, this is how I break down the parts of me that make me unique. Over time you will evolve and become more than just your list but this is a starting point to increasing your self esteem. So embrace your muchness, I know you want to.
Show up for yourself
If you don't no one else will do it for you, it’s that simple- you have to learn to be the hero/heroine of your own story and that’s just real. We're good friends by now so you already know that I’m a member of the Global Introvert Society and as a member of this elusive but yet notorious club of introverts we have a tendency to play the back instead of headlining our own shows. Being an introvert isn’t easy, it has many layers but for this discussion I will just say my Virgo sun and Aries moon has me at times living in the shadows while wanting to bust out dancing like Mary J. Blige on stage while wearing a hot pink flamingo costume -YEAH!, it’s very conflicting in here sometimes. But the point I’m trying to make is you have to show up regardless of the hesitancy you may feel at the moment; in the end there’s no growth if your always comfortable, remember that because I want us reach our fullest potential- so let’s get uncomfortable. My mantra is “I will not live in fear” and the “fear” can be many things: fear failing if you don’t at least try, you already failed-BOOM!, fear of letting myself down-I’m still learning to allow myself grace because at least I got dressed and came to the party (sometimes that’s half the battle) and the fear of other peoples expectations and comparisons- I mean who are “these people” and why are they in my business, they have their own work to do plus the only competition I’m in is the one with myself and it’s a marathon not a race.
There you have it, I think I dropped some very teachable moments for you to take in. Just remember it starts with you, no one else. A reminder of our motto “A curated life begins when you step into yourself“, you weren’t placed here to be a carbon copy of someone else or to seek approval for the validation of others- we are all unique and have a story to tell but first impact has to start in that mirror. And of course there will be some days we won’t have it together, the level of heated mess may be swing between 8-10 and our self-esteem may be affected but the point is we’re trying and that’s all we can do.
For us to become our best selves our self worth has to be front and center because self worth is the root of self confidence. What do you think, do you have any other suggestions you think can help with your self-esteem glow up?
